Friday the 13th

I try very hard not to be superstitious.  I don't even believe in God, so superstitions seem like cheating.  Weirdly, though, Friday the 13th has traditionally been a good day for me.  Which is excellent this year, when we're to have three.  I really hit the jackpot in 2015.

I had an 8 am dental appointment yesterday, which I know to many people will seem like bad luck, but I love the dentist.  Love it.  Love going, love getting x-rays done, love getting my teeth cleaned, and love all the gross-ass tartar that I've allowed to accumulate behind my front bottom teeth picked off... I've always said that if I ever win the lottery (which I did not do this week, FYI), I'd have an in-home massage therapist and a standing monthly dental cleaning.  It's just THE BEST.  I love looking at how secretly long my teeth are in the x-rays.  And my old dentist had been my dentist for well over half my life.  But for some reason once he found out I work for a Jewish school, he felt like it was OK to make anti-Semitic jokes.  He was elbows-deep in my mouth at the time, filling a cavity, and I just lay there, shamefully, not saying a word.  I still feel bad about this.  It was a year and a half ago and it will probably haunt me for the rest of my life.  I couldn't go back, though, and so I've been dentistless for a while.  Then I saw a dental office near my house offering $59 cleaning, exam, and x-rays to new patients.

First thing the dentist said? "I saw you work for a Hebrew school.  My husband is Conservative and I'm going through the conversion process.  We want to send our kids to a Jewish school.  Let's talk."  I LOVE HER.  I found my bizarro dentist - he was old, male, casually racist against Jews.  She's young, female, BECOMING A JEW.  And she was an excellent dentist as well, but at that point she could have turned into Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors and I almost would not have cared.  The hygienist had a really soft touch and still managed an excellent job of cleaning my teeth, and overall, it was a great experience.  They're much pricier overall than my last dentist, but fingers crossed that by the next time I need a cleaning I'll have a full-time job with dental insurance.

Right now I'm in "I'll never skip flossing again" mode, which is a mode I enter into for about two weeks following every dental visit.  I'm incredibly lazy, I have a small mouth, and I have major ick issues with those individual flossers - I can't use the same section of floss between more than one pair of teeth and I would need a third job to pay for all the flossers I would use because I can't use one twice.  So after I get gung ho I typically forget one night and then two and then forever and then my bottom teeth fuse together in a single tooth/tartar hybrid.  What I'm saying is, I'm really good at being an adult and I'm really sexy.

Time's up, but this is related, and it's my all-time favorite television tooth moment ever:


 The best parts are at 3:49 and 3:54.  Enjoy!